The Desire

I was recently chatting with an ex-boyfriend from college - a time when we were both relatively sweet and innocent. Well, he was sweet and innocent. I don't remember if I was his first kiss, but I was his first blow job. We'll call him "T." I guess we could say he was my first "student," in a way. I taught him the foundations of making out, the fun of foreplay. Just as all teachers love hearing from their former students, so have I enjoyed getting back into contact with him. I guess I was a good teacher, even back then.

-- please note, unlike some Florida teachers, I do not mess with my actual students; they are babies, even though in high school, and pedophilia holds no appeal for me --

Back to T. He's happily married, with a satisfying sex life. In comparing notes (oh, what? like you've never talked sex with friends?), I began to realize all the fun stuff that I have been missing out on. Threesomes, BDSM, fetishism.... so sad. Don't get me wrong. T and I weren't meant to be. I think the path we took was the best possible path - and, hell, he's the only ex I still talk to. But, allow me to give you this example:

A few weeks ago I had the current boy toy over for dinner. I've told him I'm not looking for anything long-term; he's just someone to fuck. A recurring one night stand. Anyways, I made dinner, we ate, he cleared the table... and then... awkwardness. Outside of food and sex, we have little in common. So, for lack of anything better to do, I think "well, now it is time for the requisite sex." We strip down, get in bed, he gives me a few sloppy kisses (as in my lab mix is a better kisser), and in he slides. No foreplay. Thank God the lights are off, so I can't see the dust bunnies on the fan. I fake an orgasm, which begs the question "how does he not know?!" I have settled for boredom. The kinkiest my life gets is a random ass-smack or maybe anal, and those recent experiences have been anti-climatic.

In talking to T, I realized that there is still plenty more of life for me to explore. I have no idea how I will go about exploring, since the best I have found recently is sloppy boy toy. Maybe T can help me find an outlet. But I think I will chronicle these explorations, if they ever occur, here. I know someone has a teacher fantasy....

I just have to keep this blog anonymous, because no one wants their kids to have a kinky teacher.